Some People You Don't Need To Feel Guilty About Not Inviting To Your Wedding


Take it from me. The moment you announce your engagement is the moment when you're going to be deluged with questions of:

"When are you going to get married?"

"Can I come?"

"Can I be your bridesmaid?"

"Where are you going to get married?"

"Can I bring my new boyfriend - you'll really like him"

And so on, and so on.

Now unless you're planning a free for all wedding day with all and sundry invited, you're going to have to think about your guest list quite a bit. Budget apart, there are some people who don't need an invitation and whom you don't need to feel bad about not inviting. Who are they? Read on ...

1. Ditch the exes. Okay, so you might feel you're all very civilised and 'friends' but to be honest, ex boyfriends and girl friends really don't need to be at your wedding ceremony. Somebody, somewhere is going to feel a little bit uncomfortable about that (and it might provoke gossip anyway) and so you're better off ditching the past and looking forward to the future.

2. "And Guest". You don't need to do this if your budget is restricted. Of course if somebody is in a committed relationship/living with somebody or engaged then you should invite their partner. But casual boyfriends/girlfriends don't need to come along. On the other hand, there's nothing worse than feeling like a lonely singleton at a wedding if you don't know many people so consider having a singles table.

3. Your Boss. Really you don't have to invite him or her, unless you really want to (and in fact it's two invitations probably because he or she will probably want to bring a partner). In addition, they might feel obligated to come to your wedding (but prefer not to) and will you really relax if your boss is there? Your work colleagues will probably give you a gift so thank them all profusely but don't feel you have to invite anybody from work to your big day (unless they are a close friend of yours).

4. I might get called out on this one but I think that embarassing relations have no place at your wedding either. Anybody who regularly gets roaring drunk, taps people for loans or makes inappropriate comments doesn't deserve to be at your big day. You don't want to feel unrelaxed and wonder what a loose cannon relation is going to get up to. Stick to your guns, ask your fiancé to back you and stand up to relatives who say "but you have to invite xxx". It's your day.

5. You also don't need to invite long lost relatives that you've lost touch with.

6. And there's no need to invite your brother or sister's in-laws either (unless you really want to).

7. Old friends. A bit like embarassing relatives. Some old friends might be better left in the past - they may have been great companions when you were at college together but do you want somebody who's going to stand on a chair and do their party piece that was funny at age 20 (but excruciating now you're pushing 30?) If you've both matured together then that's a different matter but if they haven't moved on ... well.

8. The neighbours. If they are real  friends, then go ahead and invite them. But you don't need to invite your neighbours just to be polite.

9. Friends of your parents that you've never got on particularly well with. No matter how much pressure is put on you.

You'll probably have some ideas of your own about the above and you may well disagree with me. What I would say is that your wedding day is your wedding day and you don't need to have anybody there you don't want to be there. Prince William apparently put his foot down when it came to his wedding day and invited only the people he knew and whom he and Kate wanted to be there - and so should you.

Your thoughts?